The BBC and the owners of the Daleks are threatening legal action against a scuzzy British film maker after his movie featuring randy versions of Dr Who's most famous enemies was discovered selling on eBay.
The soft porn 'epic' Abducted By The Daleks features naked girls being terrorised by the pepperpot monsters, and is made by 'Roman Nowiki' - the buffoon behind the execrable Fantom Killer sex and violence series and, in reality, mail order scamster Trevor Barley.
The BBC have already had the DVD banned from eBay, and the estate of creator Terry Nation intends to sue. Estate director Tim Hancock told The Sun: "The reason the Daleks are still the most sinister thing in the universe is because they do not make things like porn. They weren't ever intended to be sexual creatures. It's simple, Daleks do not do porn."
Oddly, this is not the first time Daleks have been involved in a sex scandal. In the 1970's, Dr Who star Katy Manning caused consternation by posing nude with a Dalek (see picture) and more recently, British porn producers Doll Theatre made the three hour long hardcore epic Dr Loo and the Filthy Fucking Phaleks!

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UPDATE: Striporama has been bombarded with emails from Trevor Barley and 'Roman Nowiki' claiming not to be connected. The people here tell a different story. Decide for yourself...

Twenty-one year-old topless dancer Catherine Woods was found with her throat slashed this weekend in New York.
She lived with her ex-boyfriend, David Haughn, who told police he left the apartment for 20 minutes on Sunday night. When he returned, he found Woods in a pool of blood. Police are questioning Haughn and Woods' new boyfriend but neither of them has been charged.
Woods had told her parents in Columbus, Ohio that she was dancing in an off-broadway show called Privilege. She was actually a topless dancer at the Privilege Strip Club in Chelsea. Her parents are devastated by her death, commenting "she was a very talented and beautiful young woman, inside and out."

Undercover police officers in Tampa, Florida have arrested eleven people on board a mobile strip club.
The bus was parked outside Buccaneers Stadium on Sunday, taking advantage of customers who had grown weary of the sporting spectacular. Inside female dancers from the local Deja Vu club were charging men money for lap dances. The dancers were also allegedly performing oral sex on each other. Police say the bus owner was also selling alcohol - illegal in Florida when the dancers are fully nude.
"I don't understand what justification that they could come on to someone else's property and perform this," said police sergeant Bill Todd. "And bringing it to a family environment." Though all participants were adults and the windows were blacked out, so it's hard to see how that matters...
The manager of the bus, several bouncers and dancers were arrested. Police say this is not the first time this mobile strip club has been at the stadium.

The miserable and the prudish have surfaced in Aberystwyth to complain about topless dancing.
The splendidly named Club Yoko began staging pole dancing shows last Thursday, the day the new licensing laws came into force. Inevitably, this has riled up the local erotophobes, including Ceredigion AM Elin Jones.
"I'm extremely disappointed that this type of thing is being allowed to happen in a place like Aberystwyth," she moaned. "It really is very worrying. This kind of thing is harmful to the image of women. It's so degrading. I also have very serious worries about the women who do things like pole dancing and lap dancing, and believe that many of them are being exploited."
Inevitably, she failed to supply any evidence for this belief, which is as relevant as a belief that the Earth is flat.
A depressingly repressed student union women's officer at the local University of Wales also stuck her oar in. "It really is disgusting," said easily disgusted 20 year old Menna Jones who was taken to see the club's first show by a local TV station. "I was shocked by what I saw. "Some of the things these dancers were doing were very explicit. I'm not a prude by any means (yes, yes you clearly are), but I just wasn't comfortable at all watching that."
Of course, no-one who finds the sight of topless women swaying from side to side 'disgusting' should have to watch it, but neither should they be allowed to try and stop the rest of us - including other 20 year old women who are considerably more open minded, thank God - from enjoying it.
Jones also attacked the audience. "Some men had perched themselves in seats there right at the front, and cheered like a sad bunch of perverts," she said. Yeah, I can imagine that enjoyment is something she's not used to experiencing...
Club Yoko's manageress, Eleri Ifan, rather more sensibly said "It's all harmless fun. No one has to come here if they don't want to. We're not doing anything wrong here. Ceredigion Council have granted us a licence to do this, and we're complying with the conditions set out in that licence."

A lap dancing club in Coventry could be up and running before Christmas after being given the go ahead.
Councillors finally agreed to let the Red bar, in the heart of the city's main shopping area, become a venue for lap dancing.
There had been the usual unfounded claims that the club in City Arcade would be bad for the city centre's image, but the council were presumably aware that Coventry doesn't actually have any sort of international reputation. Licensing chiefs also granted a late licence at a hearing last week, meaning the lap dancing club can open until 4am on most days.

Chester's first lap dancing club opened on Friday. The Platinum Lounge, first reported on Striporama back in May, is within an historic building in Bridge Street Row.
A £250,000 project to refurbish the interior of the listed building has been completed, with bars having deep pile carpets, suede and leather seating, plus giant flat screen TVs.
Manager Nigel Woodhouse said: "We are trying to create something stylish and classy that the people of Chester can be proud of. We are running a well controlled licensed premises that has the added entertainment feature should you so wish. Both men and women are welcome."

Euan Blair, son of British Prime Minister Tony Blair, has been visiting strip clubs in Paris.
Blair is on a work experience scheme in France with Radio Classique - a network owned by the Louis Vuitton fashion giant and Moet Hennessy drinks company (a position we're sure he secured through his own abilities and not at all through his family connections), but despite his parent's being keen on moral clampdowns, he has been relaxing with visits to the Hustler Club.
Invariably, this has led to needless fretting about security. One source said: "There is some concern about Euan's activities and the sort of people he might be rubbing shoulders with. It's fair to say that some of the people who use the club are likely to be of dubious character - which is not ideal in the context of providing protection for the son of the British Prime Minister."
Well, actually, not it's not fair to say that. Where is the evidence that the club attracts nothing but ne'er-do-wells and ruffians? And would similar concerns be raised about him visiting bars?
The club is equipped with cameras to protect the dancers, who charge £18 for a table dance or £50 for a full strip. One dancer, Summer, said: "I don't know what will happen to the CCTV film, but it's clearly worth a lot of money."
We somehow doubt that...

Mrs Henderson Presents, the film based around the origins of London's famous Windmill Theatre, opens in the UK today.
The film is said to be in the tradition of The Full Monty and Calendar Girls - i.e. a wholesomely cheeky romp rather than a raunchy tale, and the 12A certificate would seem to confirm this. It does, however, feature plenty of non-sexual nudity (in the 1930's, stage nudity was allowed only if the performers stoof completely still, like statues!) and the sight of Bob Hoskins sans clothing.
Oddly, the film's star Judi Dench has been complaining about nudity on screen. She has recently been quoted as saying "Sometimes nudity is gratuitous. We just live in a society where everything goes. Nudity wasn't allowed on stage in 1957, now you can do anything. Maybe I would like to go back to that time."
Fine, off you go, but leave the rest of us to make our own choices if you don't mind...

As reported by Sexcyclopedia.com, the latest fad to streak across East Coast universities is holding parties at which everyone strips off completely.
After apparently starting at Brown and Yale, the craze is now rife even at New York's more conservative Columbia University. Partygoers have to leave all their clothing, plus cameras, masks and "spiky things," at the door, the New York Sun said.
But those interviewed maintained that parties are more social than sexual and that many of those involved aren't sexy anyway.
Columbia senior Zachary Bendiner observed: "Columbia students are generally not into the exhibitionist realm. Rightfully so, because by and large they aren't terribly attractive."

Our Buffoon of the Week is Swiss strip club owner Benedict Frank, who managed to burn down his club while attempting to prove it was fireproof.
Frank, the owner of the Cabaret Club in Kienberg, Switzerland, started the blaze to show how fireproof it was when he was visited by health and safety inspectors. They had questioned whether his decorations were in accordance with fire safety rules, and he used his lighter to set fire to the paper ornaments in a bid to prove there was nothing to worry about. The fire then quickly took off and spread throughout the club and the neighbouring restaurant.
No one was hurt in the fire, but the damage amounts to more than £300,000.

Legendary guitarist Link Wray died at the beginning of November, it was announced this week. He died on November 5th and was buried in a private ceremony in Copenhagen on November 18th. No cause of death has been announced.
Born in 1929, Wray more or less invented the fuzztone guitar sound by punching holes in his amps, and also pioneered the use of distortion pedals. His instrumental Rumble was so disturbing that many radio stations banned it in 1958. Later, he had a hit with Rawhide.
Wray's brand of down 'n' dirty rockabilly instrumentals would not only set the template for the birth of heavy metal and punk, but also provided the backdrop to many a striptease routine, as dancers would bump 'n' grind to the sleazy beat.
Wray was touring as recently as July this year.

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Strippers at Club Fantasy in Sacremento are facing a fine after local police alleged that their performances went too far.
The City code says they can't fondle or caress any patron before, during or after a performance. The City also requires a security guard on duty at all times, but the cops say they didn't see one.
The club owner has claimed that the the bust is nothing more than harassment, the latest in a series of clashes with the city, going back even before they opened 7 years ago.

More shock revelations of possible strip shows in the wake of new licensing laws, this time in Cambridge, where the local greyhound stadium has been granted permission to hold various events, including theoretical lapdancing nights.
Mildenhall Stadium has been allowed a 24- hour drinks licence for all indoor activities, which can include strip shows and lap dancing.
The district council's licensing committee heard that the stadium could also be used for music festivals, but special events will be the subject of consultation with the police, giving at least two months' notice.
. Brian Hardie, the solicitor for the stadium's owners, said: "It is not the intention for the stadium to open its doors to people 24 hours a day." But under new licensing laws, the stadium had to be licensed for 24-hour drinking in case some events required it. "We are looking for the ultimate flexible licence," he said.
The committee agreed to stop entry after 3am when 24-hour licensing is in operation. The council's environmental health department had expressed concern about noise from outdoor music events, but there were - for once - no objections from local residents.

In an astonishing non-news story, Teen Today reports that Motley Crue 'wild man' Tommy Lee loves strip clubs and absinthe.
The drummer - in the UK to promote his new autobiography, album Tommyland and reality TV series Tommy Goes to College - has 'confessed' he is determined to continue his hellraising ways and loves downing the green stuff. Hell, don't we all. The ex-husband of Pamela Anderson, told Radio One: "I was in London strip club Stringfellows recently - just for a quick 'taste' - and I can't remember the last hour of the night. I was drinking absinthe."
In the interests of science, we've opted to illustrate this important story with a photo of Pammie rather than Tommy. Sorry girls...

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Another week, another bunch of concerned citizens fretting needlessly about the decline of civilisation in their area.
Dullards on Bury St Edmunds' Angel Hill have been left 'aghast' after a local sports bar was granted extended licensing hours ° with the possibility of lap dancing, boxing and wrestling being offered.
The One Bull initially wanted to extend its hours to 5.30am, but cut the hours to 2.30am on police advice (so much for 24 hour drinking eh?). But this wasn't enough to appease torch-bearing locals. Kevin Baverstock, who lives on the hill, ranted "It's like negotiating away Czeckoslovakia to allow the Nazis to invade Poland". Well, no, it really isn't, unless you think global war and racial genocide will result of the extended licenses, you cretin.
He continued "I don't think a stripjoint overlooking the war memorial does much for the cafô society image. We will hold the councillors in the licensing authority personally responsible if our human rights are infringed and we have all the necessary means to pursue this through the European courts."
Of course, human rights are infringed whenever local councils ban strip clubs, and I doubt any court in Europe will waste its time with a bunch of buffoons who are opposed to late night bars and strippers - thinks you find all over the continent.
Bar owner Martin Baumber said he had heeded police advice and was aware of residents' concerns. The licence allowing lapdancing, boxing and wrestling was a practical measure, to cover charity and special events, he said.
"We have no intention, at the moment, of having a boxing match or lapdancing. It's expensive to change the licence and I wanted to cover all eventualities. This is a commercial enterprise and I need to take advantage of opportunities to make a profit I want to get on with the local community and I'm happy to meet them on a monthly basis."
The Borough Council's licensing sub-committee approved the 2.30am proposals at a meeting on Monday. It had received just five letters of objection from residents.

Newly legal music download site Napster is mocking rival service iTunes in a new viral campaign featuring a stripper.
The online ad which you can see here - shows a woman performing a striptease. But as she gets down to her underwear, the woman stops her dance and sits down, and the words "30-second previews leave you wanting more? At Napster you get the whole thing" flash up.
The ad“is a dig at the iTunes preview service, which only lets users hear 30 seconds of a track before deciding if they want to buy it. At the end of the viral, viewers are invited to a seven-day free trial of Napster as well as sending it to a friend. It also advises users that the music used in the clip, a pretty rancid cover of Sunshine of your Love by the Hoxton Whores is on sale from Napster.
What Napster fail to note, however, is that unless the full strip is available from their site - and I'm pretty sure it isn't - then they are just as guilty of teasing, but worse still, tease without delivery.

The main piece of evidence in the Spanking Strippers case which we first reported back in July - an 18-inch wooden paddle, drilled with 16 holes and inscribed with the name of the dancer who used it ß is to be destroyed so it can't sold for profit, a Pulaski County district judge has ruled.
Judge Wayne Gruber made the ruling after three dancers and two employees of Sensations Night Club in Jacksonville pleaded guilty to misdemeanour disorderly conduct charges.
The case began after sheriff's deputies arrested the five on felony charges for their roles in a birthday spanking that left a Bald Knob(snigger) trucker with a bruised backside. Second-degree battery charges were dismissed against the dancers ß Charlene Smith, Lisa Nolen, and Kelly Eslick. Gruber fined them and club employees James Daugherty and Dena Mitchell $ 100 each. The defendants also agreed to waive any appeal of the case and agreed that they wouldn't seek to have the charges expunged later.
At the end of the hearing, Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Jay Shue had an additional request.
"We're asking that the weapon in this case ß the paddle ß be destroyed," Shue asked the judge. Gruber then signed an order allowing the sheriffØs office to destroy the paddle, marked with the name 'Velvet' on the handle and with the letters 'O U C H' printed down the side, because prosecutors thought the national publicity of the case might make the item a potential seller on eBay.
Club employees told investigators that the regularly offered 'birthday special' cost $25 and involved two parts ß an initial dance in which the birthday boy was handcuffed to a chair while dancers performed lap dances and a second portion in which the partier received several strikes from a belt or a paddle specifically crafted for the occasion.
Mitchell told investigator Mike Blain that 30 to 40 birthday specials were sold each month, and on the night in question ß June 17 ß a woman had received a birthday spanking before truck driver Keith Lowery received his. Clearly a sensitive type, Lowery told detectives that the pain from the spanking was "so severe that it brought tears to my eyes. I tried to make them stop. One of the bouncers came up and said, 'Look, you might as well bend over and take it like a man, otherwise it's going to be worse'. And I was like, man, look, theyØre hurting me, please make them stop."
The dancers claimed that Lowery was a willing participant. Eslick - aka Velvet - said Lowery never complained.
The club has now discontinued the practice of birthday spanking.

Hysterical residents living close to The Swan Inn in Amersham Old Town fear that drug taking, vomiting and urinating in the street could escalate if longer drinking hours are allowed.
Chiltern District Council has been deluged with letters from residents and businesses in opposition to the plan to allow drinking at the pub through to the shocking hour of 1am. Some residents fear changes to the licensing law could even allow lap-dancing to take place in the pub, without a shred of evidence to back up their mad fears. We suspect many of them also fear the sky falling on their heads as they travel to work each day...
Typical local Mary Bradfield said: "The over-indulgence by some of the youths has caused upset and distress to the residents. Many of the window boxes have been used as urinals, or as receptacles in which to vomit. Unfortunately the consumption of alcohol provokes a great deal of loutish, obscene and criminal behaviour, which, would seem is on the increase in old Amersham." At least amongst your neighbours - the most likely drinkers in said pub - eh?
Neighbour Giovanni Maciocia added: "The situation is bad enough as it is, having to put up with noise, vandalism and antisocial behaviour such as loud swearing, smashing glasses, drug dealing and urinating in the street at closing time. An extension of licensing hours would simply extend the length of such antisocial behaviour."
The pub's management also want the option of keeping the pub in the High Street open for "indoor sporting events" if they have given seven days' notice to the police. Bizarrely, residents have translated this to mean all-night drinking sessions or even lap-dancing. Martin Brooks said: "Striptease, lap-dancing, wrestling (???) and anything similar would be highly detrimental to what is primarily a residential and family neighbourhood and would attract even more rowdy drinkers."
In any case, Amersham Town Council is "resolved to strongly object" to lengthening opening hours. The town council said: "Members oppose the granting of any hours above the current hours, due to the significant nuisance and disorder caused to residents which would increase if the full hours applied for were granted." A spokesman for Whitbread, which owns The Swan Inn, said: "We are still planning to close at the same time. We have just applied for the 1am licence for those special occasions, such as birthdays, when we might need to use it. So its for the benefit of local community."
The company said late-night sporting events would only happen occasionally - and there would be no lap-dancing.

Sophisticats in London has won the right to serve drinks until 5am in the West End's first test of new licensing laws.
The club won an appeal against Westminster City Council's refusal to allow it to extend its drinks licence by two hours. The council says it makes a mockery of the government's claims that the new laws would empower local people.
Under the new Licensing Act, responsibility for granting the extension fell to the council, which had refused to grant an extension to the club's 3am license. Sophisticats appealed.
Speaking before the ruling club owner John McKeown said: "We would like to see our customers consume their drinks in comfort through to the terminal hour, rather than having their drinks snatched off them at 3am."
Both the club and the council employed investigators to monitor the venue and its customers. The club stated that complaints about noise and people urinating in the street were exaggerated, the council said the club's customers were among "the best dressed urinaters in London". Well, we at Striporama know full well that local councils and residents with an axe to grind are all too happy to lie about noise, crime and antisocial behaviour, so we'll agree with the club's findings. As did the appeal judge at Horseferry Road Magistrates Court, who ruled on Friday that there were no grounds to turn down the application to extend the licence.
Speaking after the appeal hearing, Westminster councillor Audrey Lewis whined: "This is exactly what the Licensing Act was not supposed to do. Culture Secretary Tessa Jowell has been saying she's going to give local authorities and local residents the responsibility of deciding what they need in their areas, and the first time we try it, the district judge overrules it."

Dita Von Teese refused to go on stage last week after a dickhead DJ referred to her a "stripper" who is dating a "freak".
Von Teese had been due to perform one of her martini glass routines at a New York party held after the Victoria's Secret fashion show. But she refused to perform after no-hoper DJ Juske announced her as a "stripper attached to a freak". Which is better than being a performing monkey whose only talent is to play other people's records I guess. Juske then further infuriated her by allegedly chanting for her to "get the fuck on the stage". What a loser.
According to the New York Post, Von Teese was furious and told organisers there was no way she would perform. However, she was eventually talked into going on stage after the event's producer apologised profusely for Juske's "lack of respect". Let's hope he got his pathetic ass kicked too.

A fire eater in Augsburg, Germany has been given a suspended jail sentence for setting a stripperØs breasts on fire.
27 year old Maria Leeb was tied to a pole wearing just a g-string while her partner Marc Miszler blew flames at her. But the act came to a painful end when her breasts went up in flames.
"I shouted at him that he was getting too close, but he didn't stop. The oil and glitter that I rubbed on my body must have caught on fire and all I could see were flames," said Leeb. She suffered burns across her breasts and was treated at a local hospital.
Miszler, 22, was handed a 10-month suspended jail sentence for grievous bodily harm by the Augsburg County Court.

Sixteen naked men and women wandered the streets in Sofia's busiest shopping area last weekend.
The nudists were promoting a new Bulgarian late-night television show, which deals with sexuality and erotica. The publicity stunt was successful enough to attract the attention of the police, who arrested the nudists in the upmarket Vitosha Boulevard.
The producers of the show "Sex Games, Ah" (it presumably loses something in translation) explained that the move aimed to show that Bulgarian people were open-minded and free of prejudice. Or to boost rating, perhaps?

Strippers in Pasco can be arrested for 'lewdness' - even if the only people offended by their behaviour are cops.
Last week, the 2nd District Court of Appeal overturned four Pasco County judges who ruled that 'lewd' acts in strip clubs couldn't be prosecuted if the only person offended was a law enforcement officer. At the time, lewd conduct charges against 10 dancers were dismissed. The reversal's main impact is that it reinstates the women's charges in Pasco.
New cases will fall under the law that took effect July 1. The appellate court also found that lewdness - defined as "any indecent or obscene act" by state statutes - does not require any offended parties. Though of course, someone has to take offence to cause the law to swing into action. The new law simply allows people who have gone to a club specifically to be offended to have their way.
Drawing on a 1991 Florida Supreme Court decision, defence lawyer Luke Lirot argued that undercover law enforcement officers didn't count as offended members of the public. In April 2003, County Judge Marc Salton agreed and dismissed the cases. The state appealed to a panel of circuit judges. Circuit Judges W. Lowell Bray, Daniel Diskey and Stanley Mills upheld the decision last year.
Meantime, local officials decided to correct what they saw as a serious impediment to law enforcement's ability to regulate behaviour inside adult clubs. They brought in a bill that returned the right to law enforcement officers to testify as the offended party. Pasco sheriff's deputies promptly conducted their first strip club sting since the April 2003 decision.
The July sting at six west Pasco clubs resulted in 15 new arrests, though the charges were for exposure of sexual organs and prostitution, not lewd conduct.

What is the problem with Scottish politicians? They are once again making themselves the laughing stock of the world by imposing their bizarre, almost Islamic sense of morality on their citizens.
This time, they have banned an advertisement for a beauty salon which shows a woman having a hot stone massage. She is shown lying face down with hot stones on her back, and her shoulders and back are bare. The ads have been pulled from local taxis, a month after a poster for lingerie firm Triumph - on display without causing problems throughout the rest of the UK - met the same fate.
The council's licensing policy on taxi advertising states: "Advertisements will not be permitted which advertise or promote the sale of alcohol or tobacco products; nor if they contain political, ethnic, religious, sectarian, sexual or controversial text; display nude or semi-nude figures; or are likely to offend public taste; depict men, women or children as sexual objects."
A spokesman for the council feebly attempted to justify the ban, saying "our policy is clear. The woman does not appear to be wearing any clothing. That is why it was rejected."
Brenda Kingswood, owner of the Savannah Beauty Centre, slammed Glasgow City Council's licensing authority's decision as "draconian". She added: "I'm disgusted. It's disappointing there is even a question mark over this advert. You can't have a massage without taking your clothes off. How am I expected to illustrate this treatment?"