More scandal from the fetid cesspit of talentless celebrity.
Britney Spears continued her campaign of self publicity this week with well-publicised boobs-out nights out with Paris Hilton . Now, we know Britney is trailer trash of the trashiest sort, but surely someone should be advising her that having dumped loser hubbie Kevin Federline, she ought to be seen with someone slightly more upmarket than the ghastly Hilton. Or that she should at least at least wear some knickers.
On their most recent jaunt, Spears and Hilton shared a pair of stockings - you'd really think they could afford a pair each - and Britney showed off her child-bearing enhanced breasts, as well as her shaven pussy (though we're sure the latter was accidental and not a desperate attempt at grabbing some Lindsey Lohan style Papparazi action).
Who knows what this grotesque couple discussed: maybe Paris gave Britney tips on how to market her alleged sex video. She should know after all.
You can check out more Britney pussy flashing here.

And speaking of celeb sex tapes, it's claimed that a tape of Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey engaged in "a number of sex acts" is set to be leaked on the internet soon.
A source said "Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She's always been a girl of high morals and principles."
Want to take bets on the liklihood of (a) the tape existing and (b) the rest of us ever seeing it?

British soft porn TV broadaster Babestar TV has been booted off the air by the regukators after continually broadcasting 'unsuitable' material.
The telecoms and media regulator Ofcom took action against Television Concepts, the company behind the adult station Look4Love, which hosted the Babestar broadcasts.
It has revoked the company's broadcasting licence and imposed a £175,000 fine as a result of repeated breaches of the advertising standards code.
The case was referred to Ofcom by the Advertising Standards Authority - anotherr case of narrow-minded censorship groups working in tandem to impose their own moral views on the rest of us.
As ever, the excuse was protection of children - despite the broadcasts being after 10pm in the adult section of the Sky line-up.
Ofcom said the material transmitted by the company was deemed "seriously unacceptable.
" In particular, the extreme explicitness of the language transmitted was of such an adult sexual nature that it was wholly unsuitable for transmission on a free-to-air service."
Babestar was certainly the raunchiest of the free channels which specialise in semi naked girls talking dirty on the phone for £1.50 a minute, allowing the presenters to remove their knickers and engage in pretty explicit dialogue. Interestingly, Ofcom's concern about protecting children doesn't stop them from liberally qoting this dialogue on their free-to-all adjudication. Here's a sample:
"She wants to play with your hard cock... do you want to start slapping your cock against those tits then getting her to give you a deep throat blow-job then taking your cock out of her mouth and sticking it right in her arse..."
You can read the whole judgement here.
More significantly, the channel was also scamming phone-in viewers who were invited to talk live to the models when in fact the programme seemed to be pre-recorded. We at least applaud this being clamped down on.
Now, when will Ofcom and the ASA do something about scamming Quiz channels, Psychic hotlines and other rip-off broadcasters? Or are they okay as long as their presnters keep their clothes on?

Kazakhstan's profile continues to increase.
Not only is the small country the subject of much ridicule following the hit movie Borat, but it is now grabbing the headlines with the highly unlikely sounding Kazakhstan Fashion Week. Yes, move over New York, Paris, Milan and London - those crazy Kazak's are showing off their own cutting edge fashions!
Thankfully, there was not a single lime green thong to be seen...

Oxfordshire's first lap dancing and striptease club finally opens in Banbury on December 6 after a two month delay.
Brackley entrepreneur Ashley Brown will throw open the doors of Casseopiea to the public offering lap dancing, pole dancing and private nude dancing in the Broad Street building that was last home to the short lived nightclub Picasso's.

In a shameless publicity stunt that nevertheless works for us, Wonderbra gathered a hundred models wearing only black heels and black underwear on the steps of the National Gallery in London last week.
The occasion was to promote Wonderbra’s new creation, the Multiplunge - a bra which can be worn in 100 different ways thanks to its adjustable straps.
A spokesman said: "Be it halter neck, criss-cross or a daring low back, just by moving the straps around the edge of the moulded cup and back and by adding extra straps, it can easily be adjusted to suit any outfit."

Film maker Gary Graver - also known as adult movie director Robert McCallum - died on the 16th of November, aged 68.
Graver worked with everyone from Orson Welles to John Holmes, and managed to maintain parallel careers in both the mainstream and adult industry throughout the 1970's, 80's and 90's.
His first hardcore film was Three A.M. in 1975 and many more followed, including V The Hot One, Garage Girls, Amanda by Night and numerous other classic titles.
Outside the adult industry, Graver was Orson Welles' director of photography on the films F is for Fake, Filming Othello, It's All True, and The Other Side of The Wind, a movie Welles left unfinished at his death in 1985.
As a director of photography, he also shot many action, horror and exploitation classics between 1962 and the end of the 90's, including The Toolbox Murders, Satan's Sadists and The Naughty Stewardesses.
He died after a long battle with cancer.

Religious fanatics have started a petition opposing plans to open a lap-dancing club in Consett.
Red Velvet will open in the club formerly known as Rubiks Cube, in Front Street.
Religious idiots inevitably fear it will lead to a decline in moral standards, but the people behind the venture say it is harmless fun.
Sonny Gill said "this is not prostitution and we have to make sure the girls are protected at all times. There is a strictly no-touching rule, and the men cannot swap mobile numbers with the dancers. We have cameras all over the place, and approved doormen outside the private dance rooms in case anything happens. The acts are not as raunchy as a striptease and it is happening in towns and cities all over the country."
The club will open from 9pm to 2.30am on Fridays and Saturdays at first, and then Thursdays to Sundays.
St Patrick's and St Mary's churches have started a petition opposing the scheme. Father Seamus Doyle, of St Mary's, in Blackhill, said "there is a desire to protect against the destruction of Christian and community family values. We want a safe environment for the community and to promote honesty and integrity needed to nurture wholesome relationships."
Says you.
The police have been consulted and raised no objection to the scheme on moral grounds, which is fair enough as they are not actually allowed to.
Derwentside District Council has received ten letters of objection. A pitiful amount, we'd suggest.
The authority's licensing committee is expected to discuss the application on December 12.
A spokesman for the council said the committee could not make a moral judgement and has to consider the following criteria: protection of children from harm, public nuisance, public safety and the prevention of crime and disorder.

A former Cleveland police officer has been sentenced to three years in prison for robbing two strippers who refused to have sex with him.
Chad Daubenmire could have received an additional 13 years on his October conviction on kidnapping and aggravated robbery charges. But a Cuyahoga County judge opted yesterday for the mandatory minimum sentence. Well, they WERE only strippers...
The judge also ordered the 33-year-old Daubenmire to serve five years' probation. Daubenmire plans to appeal.
In July 2005, Daubenmire hired two exotic dancers to come to his home in Euclid and robbed them at gunpoint when they wouldn't have sex with him.
Daubenmire claimed he suffered from an alcoholic blackout and did not remember a thing. He was suspended by the police department and resigned.
What a pig.

Nominations are in for the 2007 AVN Awards.
Wicked Pictures’ Manhunters scored highest with 24 nominations, including Best Film.
Ninn Worx’ Sacred Sin, co-produced by rock star Eddie Van Halen, has 18 nominations, including Best Video Feature. Hot on its heels, with 17 nominations, was Corruption, the first big-budget feature from Sex Z Pictures.
Close behind Manhunters in Best Film was Vivid’s big-budget Emperor with 18 nominations, Tailgunners, Jenna's Provocateur, Island Fever 4, The Fashionistas - Safado and Valentina.
Winners will be announced at the 24th annual AVN Awards show, January 13, 2007, at the Mandalay Bay Events Center in Las Vegas.

BUY THE NOMINEES HERE

A Tampa strip club owner has started to fight back against the religious nutters who have been protesting outside his venue.
Preachers Larry Keffer and Micah Armstrong, of the Biblical Research Center, protested outside of the Mons Venus strip club on Saturday night, as they have done many times before.
The group was yelling at patrons through a megaphone as they entered and exited the building. "God is not impressed with the size of your breasts! God is not impressed with your talent!" yelled one of the protesters, though presumably God is considered responsible for at least the latter.
Keffer said that club owner Joe Redner reacted 'inappropriately' to their protest when he came out of the building. "Redner came out there, basically crazy, running around with an air horn," Keffer said. "I think he busted our ear drums, to be quite honest." Good for him.
Armstrong claimed that Redner assaulted them, saying, "He hit Larry and touched me a couple of times." However, video footage does not back up this claim. Maybe it was wishful thinking. ”
Redner plans to combat further protests with "a louder air horn" and a noise meter.

Although she was denying its existence just a few days ago, reports are now circulating that Britney Spears is planning to put her homemade sex tape on the internet to prevent her estranged husband Kevin Federline from cashing in on it.
The singer was allegedly left fuming after Federline reportedly threatened to sell the X-rated footage to online porn mogul David Hans Schmidt, with the footage valued at $100 million.
To stop him profiting from the x-rated footage - a presumably because she's seen that other home-made sex tapes have only boosted the careers of fellow 'celebs' - Spears has apparently made the decision to give it away for free.
We all look forward to checking it out - and if Britney needs a site to host it, she should get in touch!

A table dancing bar has been closed - 30 minutes before it was due to open for the first time.
Plans to offer erotic dancers at a Caffrey's Sports Bar in Trafalgar Road were scuppered by Greenwich council, which slapped on a temporary stop notice at 3.30pm on Friday.
Although nearby residents were predictably outraged by the bar's application to vary its licence to allow for the provision of dance including striptease, it was approved by the council's licensing board on July 6.
But the council notice served on Friday stated planning regulations had been breached as the owners had not secured permission for a change of use.
The notice says there is only permission for uses associated with the betting shop and offices on the upper floors.
Owner Ivor Andrews commented "Greenwich council have taken action totally beyond their legitimate powers and as such this is now the subject of serious litigation."

A number of raid have been carried out in Cork on lap-dancing clubs and sex shops in what seems to be a dubious attempt to crush the entire sex industry.
The Criminal Assets Bureau raided 17 private and commercial premises across the city as part of an investigation into money laundering and the current favourite excuse of those who seek to stop the sex trade, human trafficking.
Up to 100 gardaí swooped on massage parlours, lap-dancing clubs and sex shops during the operation which began shortly after 8am yesterday morning.
Detectives seized substantial amounts of cash, documents, video tapes and DVDs from a number of premises.
It is understood that gardaí will begin sifting through the documentation over the coming days, while forensic accountants will examine them for tax compliance.

Popster Kylie Minogue has returned to the stage with her burlesque-inspired Showgirl tour for the first time since she was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The original tour was halted in May 2005, but on Novmebr 11th she played Sydney in the first of 20 Australian dates.
The shows are expected to hit the UK in January 2007. For those of you who can't wait, you can catch the 2005 shows on DVD.

BUY KYLIE MINOGUE'S SHOWGIRL HERE (UK)

BUY KYLIE MINOGUE'S SHOWGIRL HERE (USA)

In a 5-2 decision Thursday, the Nevada Supreme Court upheld a Las Vegas ordinance that bans exotic dancers from fondling or caressing patrons to sexually arouse them.
Although a lawyer for some dancers said the measure effectively bans lap dancing, the city says strippers can continue to grind on their customers but must keep their hands to themselves.
A number of Las Vegas dancers challenged the law and a lower court agreed, saying the measure was too broad and unconstitutional, prompting the high court to step in and adjudicate the matter.
The ruling, however, would not affect a Clark County ordinance on clubs which allows erotic dancers' clothed pubic region and anus to make contact with a patron’s legs during performances. Las Vegas is located in Clark County.

Every November, poppy refuseniks in the UK are criticised and attacked for not respecting the war dead. Yet when a strip club supports the cause, fanatics start to moan.
Two large poppies were been put up by Birmingham's The Rocket Club as part of a wider fundraising initiative in Broad Street. A donation was made to the British Legion for the display, but as with many charities, it seems some people don't want money from legal businesses.
The move was criticised by the National Service Veterans' Association, who said it was "inappropriate".
But a somewhat more sensible spokeswoman for the Legion said it was grateful for the support, which netted them £700.
The spokeswoman said: "We have received no complaints from either our members or supporters about this matter and so the decision has been taken to leave the two poppies displayed at the Rocket Club."
Gerald Rose, 77, chairman of the National Service Veteran's Association, criticised the Poppy Appeal being associated with a lap-dancing club.
"Personally I don't think it is right, it demeans us to a degree.
"There was a bit of a lack of forethought in the first place. They should have looked at it and thought it inappropriate."
Perhaps he'd be happier with the support of gun shops.
Club owner Alan Sartori said: "We wanted to raise the Legion's profile, this organisation needs our support.
"I got two poppies and put one on the front and one on the side. What is wrong with that?"

Proving that there are morons around every corner, two TV ads have caused controversy and complain in the UK through their use of nudity. In both cases, anyone with a scrap of intelligence will be haking their heads in despair.
Firstly, an ad for Cussons Original Source shower gel has been banned by the cretins at the Advertising Standards Authority for featuring a naked woman in a sexual pose who appeared to be under 16.
The young woman in question is in fact well over 18, and is seen 'naked' for only two seconds - with no actual naughty bits on display. Nevertheless it attracted 29 complaints from viewers who are clearly disfunctional and dirty-minded individuals.
Cussons said the ad was intended to represent the naturalness of the product and that the question of how old she looked was entirely subjective. The company added that they had taken care not to cast a more voluptuous model so that the ad would not have sexual overtones.
All of which seems very sensible. The woman's pose in the ad had no sexual element to it whatsoever. Yet instead of telling the complainants where to get off, the ASA actually agreed with them!
They ruled that viewers were likely to view the model as a young girl and considered that the combination of nudity and the stylised shots used were likely to be seen to have sexual overtones. What a bunch of idiots.
More amusingly, an ad campaign for Quaker's Oatso Simple porridge range featuring Camberwick Green favourite Windy Miller has sparked controversy after appearing to accidently show the private parts of the Plasticine model's naturist uncle.
In the ad, Windy's eccentric Uncle Gruber, a naturist, comes to stay. He is completely naked except for a hat and neckerchief, but has his modesty protected by strategically placed breakfast items such as a newspaper.
But in one scene, a cereal bowl is less than strategically placed and viewers supposedly catch a glimpse of what appears to be Uncle Gruber's genitals.
The Daily Mirror claimed that "TV viewers nearly choked on their breakfasts", although it is understood that Quaker has not received any complaints.