As I'm sure you know, today is Halloween - a time for ghosts, ghouls and chavs to haunt the streets demanding sweets and money under threat of violence.
But increasingly, Halloween is becoming less of a children's celebration and having more and more appeal to adults. And why not? An excuse to dress up and be 'bad' is often just what we need!
This year, retailers across the world have reported an increase in demand for 'sexy Halloween costumes amongst women - and not just the expected spooky-themed outfits such as witches, devils, vampires and batgirls - impressive as these are (I'm sure you'll agree that the witch costume on the left is more appealing than anything we got to see years ago...). Sexy schoolgirls, nurses, policewomen and pirates are as likely to be found at your local bar tonight.
Meanwhile, sexy slants on traditional Halloween party games are also increasingly popular.
If any readers are attending parties, let's see pictures of the sexiest costumes on display - if we get enough, we'll add a special Halloween gallery to the site!

BUY SEXY VAMPIRE MOVIES

BUY SEXY WITCHCRAFT MOVIES

In a change from busting suppliers of hardcore, Trading Standards have finally stood up for people who are ripped off by porn distributors who DON'T deliver the goods.
A porn distributor has been fined £4000 by Surrey magistrates, for failing to deliver what was promised on the unnamed video's cover, following a complaint by a disgruntled woman.
"The company had not shown any interest in the consumer's complaint, so the purchaser turned to Trading Standards.", Surrey County Council commented. Let that be a lesson to distributors who treat the viewer with contempt - which is, sadly, far too many of them.
Pabo Ltd was fined £4,000 for false description and £10,500 for selling porn films by mail order, plus £75 compensation and £2,044 costs.
"Consumers are often embarrassed to complain about purchases such as these and companies take advantage of them.", the Mirror quoted Peter Denard of Trading Standards, as saying.

Coventry looks set to have a lap dancing club open in the city centre.
A Birmingham firm wants to convert the Red bar in the City Arcade by Christmas. Russell Kenny, a director of Ace Ltd, has taken over the lease on the building and plans to employ 15 dancers who would perform pole dancing. He says it would be run as a nightspot open to the public rather than a private members club.
Kenny said the dancers would strip down to G-strings and there would be a strict 'no touching' rule. He insisted there would be a 'sophisticated' atmosphere.

Northern Ireland's strippers are keeping up with changes brought about by the peace process, according to a report in The Observer. The agency that specialised in dancers who peeled off old Royal Ulster Constabulary uniforms has adopted a new striptease outfit: the Police Service of Northern Ireland's boiler-suit uniform.
Angels, the Glengormley based striptease/kissogram agency, says it has dumped the RUC's old bottle-green outfits for PSNI kit in the interests of peace.
"You have to support the peace process, haven't you," said owner Jeff Dowey on Friday. "The RUC uniforms were hugely popular, but we had to move with the times. We expect the same response from the new PSNI ones. In fact, they are a lot sexier, so they will go down a treat."
Dowey claims there have been little problems caused by his strippers entering pubs frequented by people who might have reason to fear the police.
"It's really funny when they walk into a bar. They think they are being raided," he said. Raided by really sexy cops I assume, unless his strippers are all pretty rough...
Once the punters realise it's not the real PSNI, they relax, Dowey added. "In fact, they love it. It doesn't matter what part of the country we're in. The stauncher the area, whether it's Catholic or Protestant, the better the response. We're really popular in Crossmaglen." Good to see the staunchly religious being as two-faced as ever.
In republican clubs and bars across the north, the old RUC strip act used to involve 'officers' apparently arresting former IRA prisoners in front of their friends, handcuffing them to a chair on the dancefloor and then stripping off the uniform. Dowey promises more of the same with the PSNI act. . As well as posing as policemen and women, Angels also tastefully dresses its dancers in the 'uniform' of paramilitaries - complete with balaclavas and baseball bats.

A none-too=bright couple have been complaining to the press after booking a holiday at a sex resort.
Alison Lonsdale, 39, and fiancé Troy King, 42, spent £2,500 to visit the Blue Bay Gateway resort in Cancun, Mexico. The resort was clearly promoted as 'adults only', but that was clearly too ambiguous for this couple, who were shocked by the sight of people stripping naked and swinging. Mum-of-one Alison, from South Shields, Tyneside, blathered: "I was shocked beyond belief. It was like the set of a porn film."
Holiday firm First Choice have sensibly refused compensation. A spokeswoman said: "It does say in the brochure that it is raunchy."

Chavscum lottery winner Michael Carroll was thrown out of a strip club after being caught with a bag of cocaine in the toilet.
The loathsome tosser - who won £9.7 million on the lottery - was caught by staff as he kneeled by a toilet seat chopping up the drug with a phone card. The cocaine fell on the floor and doormen flung the rancid yuzzer and his equally foul mates into the street by security at Angels in Peterborough.
His oafish mates then predictably confronted the doormen before police were called and they ran off.
A club spokesman told The Sun: "We caught Carroll red-handed with cocaine. He won¹t be allowed back." Police confirmed they went to the club but made no arrests.

Way back in April, we reported that Canadian stripper Marie-Andreé Lauriault had been arrested after allegedly performing on stage with sex toys. The case finally made it to court this week.
Charges against Lauriault ­ who works under the stage name Tangerine Dream ­ were dropped, but the St. John's strip club in which she worked was fined $7,500 ­ the maximum possible ­ on two charges of violating an obscure part of the Criminal Code.
Bubbles Gentlemen's Club was convicted of violating section 167 of the Criminal Code, which deals with what's called "immoral theatrical performance." Lauriault performed shows using sex toys in February and April. In the last show, she attempted to set what she called a 'gang-bang record.' Witnesses said 177 men and women lined up along the Bubbles stage to penetrate Lauriault with a sex toy - suggesting that she has little idea what a 'gang-bang' actually is..
Lawyer Bob Simmonds said the fine should not have been enforced. "If you don't like the activity, then don't pay the cover and don't go into the club," he said, adding that prosecutions under that section of the Criminal Code are unusual.
"It's a very inexact standard ­ it changes with time," he said. "Things that years ago once were clearly criminal are not anymore."

American religious fanatics are attacking a lightweight male strip show.
A petition signed by 26 pastors in Jamestown has demanded that the City Council and the Civic Center cancel a November 3rd show featuring the Australian male dance troupe Thunder from Down Under.
"To say this is not a strip show is just ludicrous. This is a strip show," Reverend B. Scott Avans, of the First Baptist Church, ranted. "We are asking the City Council and the Civic Center to cancel this show."
Cancellation would cost the city a $7,000 deposit,said Civic Center manager Lori Anderson. She said she was told the group is respectable and that "they don't dance in the crowd for tips. There's no way I'm trying to bring in sleazy strippers."
Troy Gunderson, director of the local Youth For Christ group, said the City Council has a moral leadership responsibility. In one of the most garbled and nonsensical arguments we've ever heard, he said Jamestown has a prison and a state hospital and many people are in those institutions because of problems related to sex. Well, possibly due to religiously influenced sexual repression and guilt, which we all know is behind much sex crime... though we've not heard scantily clad dancing used as an excuse for hospitalisation before!
The equally demented Reverend Shawn Bowman, of Victory Lutheran Brethren Church, said that if the show does not encourage 'family togetherness', it would not be worth the cost. "I don't think $7,000 would be a bad lesson," Bowman said.
Council members said on Tuesday that they had not been not aware of the controversy, and the show would be over before the council's next meeting. Tickets are $20, and only 30 were reported sold as of Tuesday.

Miffed that the rest of their community don't share their narrow-minded, fanatical viewpoint, a Budleigh Salterton church group is doing what all religious nutters do under such circumstances, and trying to force its beliefs on everyone else.
The group are 'taking action' after news that the local nudist beach has been featured on a porn website as a dogging hot spot was met with apathy by the town.
Locals presumably figured that sexual activity on a beach which is already closed off from the easily shocked is nothing to be bothered about - after all, it hurts no-one. But the bigots of Budleigh Salterton Churches Partnership have written to the district and the town council asking them to take steps to stop the sexual activity on the beach.
The group predictably claim that Budleigh's reputation as a respectable family holiday town could be lost if the councils turn a blind eye to the sexual antics. I'm sorry? What reputation? How many of you had even heard of Budleigh? And surely these sex-hating, repressed parasites are equally appalled at the presence of the nude beach, which I'm sure they also see as a blight on the town's world-famous reputation as a God-fearing haven of decency...

A South African radio station decided to give pensioners a treat on Thursday by providing a pair of strippers at their rest home.
With a doctor on standby, the 45 oldies at Cape Town's Murundi House were surprised by the female strippers arranged by Dangerboy, a 5FM DJ.
The two strippers, Amelia and Sasha, performed in front of the bemused geriatrics. One of the two strippers took off her top, while the other one stripped fully nude.
According to reports, 15 elderly ladies giggled, while 30 old men stared in amazement. Only one of the women walked out.
One man apparently gave a stripper a kiss on the bottom when she bowed in front of him, while anothers face ended up between a pair of breasts.
Dangerboy said on Thursday: "It was a marketing ploy to raise awareness about the needs of the elderly in today's world. We also did it to make people aware of the Old School is Cool welfare association which raises money for poor elderly people." Sure you did.
It was not necessary for the doctor to step in to resuscitate any overexcited pensioners.

Lowestoft is about to get its first topless bar. But the plans have been predictably attacked by prudish politicians who fear it could turn the town into a den of inequity like the - ahem - infamous Yarmouth. No, really!
The idea started as a joke after Maxine Griffiths, the new landlady of the New Globe Inn on the High Street, couldn't shake the pub's old image, leaving the bar empty and the takings low. But the idea soon took hold and ads are now in the local job centre. She said "I spent a year trying to change the pub's reputation and I thought I've got to do something to get people in here. The bar was empty, people just weren't coming in."
The plan has been met with self-righteous and ill-informed anger from ex-mayor Terry Kelly, who laughable ranted "I'm not a prude (sure, sure...) but I don't think sex shops and lap-dancing clubs are a good idea, and I don't think I would like to see Lowestoft going that way. I know this is a topless bar but Lowestoft is a family resort, can't we leave the lap-dancing to Yarmouth? Hopefully in Lowestoft we can hold our heads a bit higher than that. I worked in Yarmouth for a long time, but it is seedy and these sort of clubs appeal to those sort of people."
Waveney District Council spokesman David Holland said "From a licensing point of view they don't need a special licence, they can start when they want."
And Suffolk Police spokeswoman Anne-Marie Breach said "As far as we are concerned we will only intervene if it causes a public nuisance. So long as the pub is adhering to licence conditions and the topless bar staff are not in the public view from outside the bar then the police would not get involved."

St Louis based IT services business Savvis Inc. have placed its chief executive on an unpaid leave of absence while it investigates the nonpayment of charges incurred on a corporate credit card at Manhatttan strip club Scores.
Last week, American Express' Travel Related Services sued Savvis and CEO Robert A. McCormick, claiming that the executive charged a gob-smacking $241,000 in 2003 at the club - possibly with dancers like Jenn (pictured). The company said this week that McCormick did not submit the charges in question for reimbursement and that Savvis has not made any payment to American Express related to the charges.
McCormick is refusing to pay the charges, alleging that Scores inflated the bill fraudulently. According to the lawsuit, Scores has been paid in full, while neither Savvis nor McCormick has paid any of the charges.
Failure to pay is a violation of the credit card agreement, court papers say. Savvis said it won't comment further on the matter until the investigation is complete.

Police in Charlotte, North Carolina have reported that a man who'd been thrown out of a local strip club decided to return with his car.
Authorities say the unnamed man was asked to leave the Carousel Club shortly after midnight. He then drove his car into the building, rupturing a natural gas line. No other damages were reported.
The driver wasn't hurt, but he was arrested.

Australian women on a hen night saw their party end in disaster after the bride and six of her friends were arrested at an Adelaide strip club.
The women, all performers with the Stardust Circus, were celebrating Wonona West's forthcoming wedding last week when they decided to visit the Crazy Horse Revue - a female strip show. The Bride's mother, Jan Lennon, said the trouble started after one of the women tripped outside the premises, prompting the bouncer to refuse her entry to the club because he believed she was drunk.
The women then begged to be allowed in "just for 15 minutes, to say they had been to the Crazy Horse," Ms Lennon said outside the court. This apparently civilised discussion with the bouncer doesn't quite explain why the police were called and seven women arrested, including the bride-to-be, who is believed to have been involved in an' incident' with a female police officer.
Lennon commented later, "It was like a murder scene or a robbery. They probably had a few drinks, but they weren't doing anything wrong. They'd had this hen's party planned for weeks and weeks - this was the first time they had been able to get together. It is just so stupid. It's put a real dampener on the wedding celebrations."
Natalie Webber, 38, and Lynda Coupland, 41, made brief appearances in the Adelaide Magistrates Court charged with hindering police and loitering. Webber was also charged with disorderly behaviour and Coupland faces an additional charge of resisting police.

If any of you have had problems accessing Striporama over the last few days, apologies. We've been attracting too many visitors for our server it seems! We've upgraded and normal service should now resume...
We're also now working on adding video to the site, with a mix of new and vintage clips to download. This won't be free, sadly, but hopefully will be worth whatever price we decide on. More news soon..

Wanna fleece a strip club and its dancers out of money and get away scott-free? Then Albuquerque is where you want to be. All you need to do is explain that you hadn't been there before and didn't understand the rules.
The Denver Post reprts that 18 year olds Craig Everett Malik Wakji ran up a bill of $2,460 in lap dances at the Fantasy World nightclub in one evening and then couldn't pay. But the case against them has been dismissed by Albuquerque prosecutors.
"We did not find any criminal intent on the part of the two young men," said Betty Hanes, a paralegal in the DA's office who was involved in the decision to drop the charges. "But that was a lot of lap dances." No shit.
On Aug. 30, Everett and Wakji visited Fantasy World for the first time. They were invited by dancers Orchard and Carmela to adjourn to the VIP Room for private lap dances. By the time the strip club closed at 2 a.m., Everett and Wakji had, according to the club manager, been the recipients of a staggering 82 lap dances - 41 each. Each dance is marked by a song, club manager Jonnie McArthur told police. When the song ends, the $30 dance is over. When McArthur gave Everett and Wakji the $2,460 bill, their eyes grew even wider than they'd been all evening. Wakji had $50 in his pocket and a credit card with a $500 limit. Everett had, according to police, no cash or credit cards. Just a surprised look on his face.
The Albuquerque police report goes on: "Craig stated that he did not know that a new dance started with the start of a new song. He stated he thought the dance was just one continuous dance, and he also stated that this was his first time going to an exotic dance club." Albuquerque Municipal Court spokeswoman Janet Blair, whose office initially handled the complaint, said police indicated both teenagers were "real hayseeds visiting the big city."
The teens were charged with falsely obtaining services or accommodations over $250, a felony. But late last month, the case was dismissed.
"We decided to close the case because both were young men and both said they'd never been in a place like that," said Hanes, of the DA's office. "They said they didn't understand the rules. If nothing else, you think you'd be afraid of the bouncers." The manager of the club, Hanes said, should have made the rules clear to the two teens. And after "10 or 20 dances," she said, he should have demanded a credit card or some type of payment. "I tried to talk to the manager, but he never returned my phone calls," Hanes said. "One of the dancing girls said he works at midnight. I don't. So we never talked."

The New York Times rather sniffily reports that a sign advertising a strip club in Brooklyn is causing consternation amongst the easily distressed.
The billboard went up on Monday across Baltic Street from Public School 133 on the western fringe of Park Slope, Brooklyn. The sign advertises 'gentlemen's club' Flashdancers, and features a naked blonde - though her breasts and genitals are covered by text. Nonetheless, the fact that you can see her stomach is too much for some people, who are using the proximity to a school as an excuse to get all riled up.
"That sign is as big as day, and it's disgusting," said a nursing student who gave her name only as Kim R.
The city's Department of Buildings got a complaint about the sign yesterday, said the splendidly named Ilyse Fink, a department spokeswoman.
Flashdancers' marketing consultant, Michael Turner, said he did not know the billboard was going to be across from a school. "If it's offensive," he said, "we'll take it down."

A club's application to remove its members-only policy has been met with the usual round of hysterical objections by deluded prudes.
Club XS in Hastings has a members only condition attached to the licence but the owner Paul Rumble has recently applied to remove this and allow general public access. Rumble has also applied to increase the licensed hours the club can open.
The plans have been predictably slammed by local residents. Objector Neil Choudhury said: "The owners of these premises have in the past made much of the fact that the premises are a membership club frequented by mature customers in order to obtain permissions to operate in this location on the edge of a residential area. Extension of the hours of operation and relaxation of the membership club condition will undoubtedly lead to further degradation of the quality of life of residents." Where's your evidence for this?
Helen Twist, aptly twisting her words into a convoluted and barely coherent argument, said: "I feel I must object to the membership being cancelled, which leaves it open to all and sundry, young and old to participate in the activities going on there. Children of the ages of 16-20 years are of mature enough to understand where the pole dancing can lead to, and I am afraid that with hindsight Prospect Place will once again be open to fights, drugs and maybe rapes."
Rumble responded by saying: "As far as noise concerns go residents do not need to worry. We spent nearly £1,000 on an independent study which found our levels were well within the required limits and on one occasion was even quieter then the noise from the sea. We have a well insulated building and because of our clientele we do not play noisy music.
" The club will remain for people over the age of 21 and there is a chance that the membership scheme will remain. According to the police we are the only club in Hastings to which they have not had to attend and we just want to bring our license in line with the other town centre clubs so we can compete on an even keel."

A spat has erupted between two amateur porn stars. Paris Hilton, heiress airhead and star of One Night In Paris has rubbished claims by Tom Sizemore, one-time contender (he appeared in Saving Private Ryan) and now full-time celebrity car crash - having spent time in jail for substance and spousal abuse. Sizemore's latest venture is a porn opus imaginatively called The Tom Sizemore Sex Scandal, featuring that pesky porno home movie footage that celebs seem to have such a hard time keeping to themselves.
In an interview on the DVD,Sizemore says he enjoyed a one night stand with the then 19-year-old Hilton when she begged him for sex after a party. Sizemore claims Hilton showed him a good time, adding, "She knew what she could do to people."
Hilton, now 24, is appalled by the suggestion she had sexual relations with the 44-year-old. Surely it's not THAT embarrassing? I mean, she DID star in The Simple Life!
She told website The Scoop, "It's disappointing that Mr Sizemore has to use my name to sell his DVDs. He is not an acquaintance of mine, nor have I ever had intimate relations with him."

Scumbag parents at a Lincolnshire primary school have forced a head teacher to resign, and she now faces misconduct charges. Her crime? Allegedly posing for a soft porn magazine. And to make the situation even more outrageous, the teacher in question denies that the photos are even of her.
Angela Barber became head of Stickney Primary School in September but resigned within a matter of days for "personal reasons". It is believed that Mrs Barber was confronted by small-minded parents about a series of photographs in 40-Plus magazine. How these hypocrites saw the photos in the first place hasn't been explained - surely none of them read the magazine?
Barber denies posing as 'Cassandra' as well as advertising her telephone number. However, the bigots raised their concerns with education chiefs at Lincolnshire County Council. And what were these concerns? That the head might start stripping pff ion from of the kiddies? Or that by enjoying a private sex life she was somehow unsuitable to be a teacher?
The allegation has now been passed on to the Department for Education and Skills Misconduct Team which will conduct a full investigation. Let's hope - perhaps misguidedly - that they tell the parents in question and the local authority to fuck off.
Barber had previously worked as headteacher at Hogsthorpe School, near Chapel St Leonard, as acting headteacher at Dunston Primary School and as headteacher at Lacey Gardens Junior School in Louth. Presumably fully clothed throughout.
Her husband, Nigel said: "It is not Angela, despite a resemblance. The same matter occurred two years ago, the damage is already done."

Birmingham's lap dancing clubs have formed a new organisation to help clean up their image.
Clubwatch is dedicated to' fighting crime and disorder, promoting public safety and maintaining ethical integrity'. As part of the agreement, they will ban offensive advertising and swap information on dancers 'harmful to the industry' and blacklist them.
The city's licensing authorities have been worried that the explosion in the number of clubs was giving Birmingham the reputation as the lap dancing capital of the country. Better than being known as the arse end of the country, we'd say, but obviously certain people disagree.
The clubs are backing licensing chairman Cain David Osborne's aims of limiting the growth of lap dancing venues and prevent Broad Street turning into - ahem - an English equivalent of Hamburg's notorious Reeperbahn red light area. Oh, and keeping out further competition is also a fringe benefit!
However, Councillor Osborne is pressing on with inquiries into how other big cities handle the lap dancing question.
Simon Warr of Spearmint Rhino is concerned the investigation could become a witch hunt into a problem which - of course - does not exist.
"We are acting to set our own standards for the industry because it is in our interests to make sure Birmingham's image is a good one," he said.

Having failed to prevent its opening, Barrow's pathetic local council seem hell-bent on harassing lap-dancing club Evolution.
The club apparently breached licensing rules after two dancers, dressed as a sailor and policeman, exposed themselves at a ladies night held last Thursday. The licence required entertainers not to show their genitals. No word is forthcoming on just how many people were outraged, offended or damaged by this unseemly sight.
Licensing officials have now written to the club to remind them that strippers need to keep some of their clothes on.
Sadly, we don't have a photo of these miscreants in action, so here's Evolution dancer Jenna Jones instead!

Seattle's voters may get to decide on whether the city's new restrictions on nude dancing remain in force.
The Coalition Against Censorship - a group of strip-club owners and supporters - have begun a referendum campaign to try to overturn the rules. The group hopes to gather 14,000 signatures on petitions to put the question before voters next year.
Seattle's new ordinance imposes some of the strictest adult-entertainment rules in the United States. It requires dancers to stay 4 feet from patrons and forces clubs to install bright lighting and waist-high railings in front of their stages.
Under the city charter, ordinances passed by the council and mayor can be placed before voters if opponents gather enough signatures within 30 days. The petitions would have to be filed by Nov. 8, said Gil Levy, attorney for Rick's strip club in the Lake City neighborhood.
"I don't think the ordinance that just got passed by the council is popular with the citizens of Seattle, and I think they should be given a chance to decide for themselves whether they want it or not," Levy said.

Wakefield has revealed itself to be a hot contender for Britain's most primitive town after local police acted against a gallery showing paintings of - shock, horror - semi-nude women.
Student artist Sally Barton took down her work, which depicts naked women embracing in a non-sexual way after underworked police officers contacted her.
19 year old Barton is understandably shocked by claims her art is pornographic, and can't believe her first exhibition at a Horbury art gallery, has been censored. She said: "I am an artist not a pornographer and the work is very tasteful. The people are complaining it's about sex, but that's just what they see in it."
Quite right, and you'd think with magazine covers showing similar images every month, no-one would take offence at such images. But maybe Loaded, Front, Nuts and Zoo are also banned in Wakefield... along with any classic paintings which also depict nudity.
' Disgusted' (and disgusting) residents inundated local councillor Janet Holmes with 'non-stop' phone calls and, rther than telling these prudes to get a life, she contacted the police. Clearly not the most open minded person in the world, Holmes said: "There are six and seven-year-old children passing the gallery and we do not want children as young as that seeing such images."
Holmes and her shocked locals would probably get along well with University of Southern Indiana professor Glen Kissel, who unsuccessfully tried to have paintings of nude women removed from a hallway in the university.
He said the images would be fine in a gallery setting but should not be displayed where people walking in the hallway can see them and added that an art workshop will bring children ages 6 to 14 to the Technology Center, where both art and engineering classes are taught.
Kathryn Waters, chairwoman of the university's art, music and theater department, said nude figure art is an essential part of the curriculum. "The human body is very beautiful. It exists in art in all cultures throughout the history of humanity' (are you listening Janet Holmes?).

Relax guys - it's NOT just your imagination: British breasts ARE getting bigger.
Research has revealed that the average bust measures 36in compared with 34in a decade ago. And cup sizes have increased from a B to a more fulsome C or D.
Market analysts Mintel found that demand for the underwired bra is up by 12 per cent in the last two years and now makes up 70 per cent of the bra market.
Analyst James McCoy said: "Undoubtedly, the growth in the average British bust size over the last 10 years has played a significant role in the increasing popularity of underwired bras which provide greater support. It is also far easier to make underwired bras more flamboyant and intricate, making them a popular choice."
The Mintel report also found that almost two-thirds of British women only buy a new bra to replace a worn out one, and only one in six will splash out on a sexy bra for a special occasion.

Having kick-started the trend for unrevealing, smugly coy nude charity calendars, the Women's Institute have moved on to pole dancing.
According to the Daily Telegraph, the ladies of Wythit WI in Leeming are going one better than their Calendar Girls neighbours in Rylstone - next week they will learn how to pole-dance.
The lesson may be accompanied by an instructional visit to the Spearmint Rhino lap-dancing club in Leeds - for research we presume. The members of this particular branch average age of 33 - quite low by WI standards. Surely they can find something better to do with their time than join a geriatric, Tory-centric organisation...
WI member Alison Mason explains: "It's pilates pole-dancing. The woman offered us straightforward pilates or pilates pole-dancing and all the girls went, 'Ooh! Let's do the pole-dancing', and so there we are."
Lest you think you might see strippers making jam and cakes as they undress on your next trip to a club, Mason continues "we will be wearing rather considerably more than women who pole-dance for a living - and there will be no-one watching."

BUY STRIPPER POLES HERE

Ann Summers stores are to fit peepholes in their Scottish shops - so men can spy on women trying on underwear. The chain believes it's the ideal way to entice more men into their shops and spice up shopping trips.
Before you get all excited/outraged, it's all strictly for consenting couples. The cubicles in the stores will have small peep hole windows at eye-level. Women can choose to throw open the peephole, allowing their partners a look at what they are trying on, without having to step out in front of other shoppers.
The first store to have the new peepholes is the Princes Street store in Edinburgh, which reopens on Friday. So convinced are the management of the peepholes' popularity that they already plan to introduce them to the rest of the stores in the next three years.
Jacqueline Gold, chief executive of the £520million empire, said the spy holes would be one of the main attractions of the revamped store, adding "the store will retain an intimate boudoir feel. I don't anticipate objections."

Following Seattle's lead, Los Angeles is close to outlawing lap dances as the Police Commission voted on Tuesday to endorse a city ordinance that would keep strippers and their customers at least six feet apart.
"I think this is narrowly crafted and very clear-cut," said Commission President John Mack. "It is not overreaching."
The City Council tried to impose similar restrictions on the industry in 2003, including banning private rooms and stepping up permitting and security rules. But the council eventually backed away from a 'no-touch' provision after the adult industry gathered signatures for a public vote (read more about this story here).
Van Nuys-area Councilman Tony Cardenas revived the issue this year after a federal appeals court upheld a 'no-touch' law in La Habra.
The ordinance would keep dancers and patrons at least six feet apart, prohibit direct tipping, and restrict performances to raised stages surrounded by railings at least 2 feet high - this latter point proving that this is all about moral punishment, as it will make the viewing experience somewhat restrictive.
A lawyer representing adult-entertainment venues said that the measure raises the possibility of renewed legal battles and ballot measures of the sort that made the City Council reconsider the first time.
"I think all options are very much on the table," said attorney John H. Weston.
Detective Benjamin Jones said inspections of strip clubs have indicated that lap dancing is related to prostitution, drug dealing and other crimes. While he said there is no direct evidence proving a link, he related anecdotes such as officers finding used condoms in and around clubs. "There may not be empirical data available but you're eliminating the opportunity for crimes like narcotics, prostitution and workplace violence with this ordinance," said Commissioner Anthony Pacheco. Sounds to us like a typical bit of doublespeak, relying on that old bugbear 'common sense'. Maybe the police and their Commission should pay as much attention to anecdotes about the brutality and corruption of the LAPD...

The Oregon Supreme Court has reaffirmed its view of state protection for sexually-oriented expression in a pair of decisions issued on September 29.
The first case struck down a state law making it a crime to present a "live public show in which performers engage in sexual conduct." The second struck down a municipal ordinance that required that any nude performance take place more than four feet away from audience members.
In the first case, state officials has attacked lapdancing club Angels. According to court statements, during a visit by undercover police to the club "the officers requested and paid for a 'toy show.' A female employee of Angels led them into a room and proceeded to 'perform' for them by, among other things, removing her clothing and inserting a dildo and her finger into her vagina. During the second visit (presumably just to make sure it was especially obscene...), the officers paid for a 'two girl show.' During that show, two women performed a striptease, rubbed their breasts against the officers¹ chests, and engaged in oral sex with one another."
Sounds good to us.
After the second visit, the police officers arrested owner Charles Ciancanelli and the performers, who were indicted for promoting a live sex show, among other crimes. Both the trial court and the state¹s intermediate court of appeals rejected Ciancanelli¹s argument that the sex-show statute violated the state Constitution, and he was convicted at trial and lost his first appeal.
The Supreme Court, however, found that nude dancing, while not necessarily communicating an articulate political message, nonetheless was an expressive activity, as even the U.S. Supreme Court has found under the federal First Amendment.
In the second opinion, the court dealt with an attempt by the city of Nyssa to enforce a local ordinance against a nude dancing club where those overworked undercover police officers witnessed performers on stage leaning down to less than a foot from paying customers. The local ordinance required a four-foot space around performers. Applying its reasoning from the Ciancanelli case, the court concluded that this local ordinance was aimed at expressive conduct that enjoyed constitutional protection.

This has to be one of the most gob-smacking examples of prudery and small-mindedness we've ever reported on:
A federal appeals court has rejected a Madison County woman's challenge to a town's ban of her dancing at a local hall, which it deemed 'lewd'.
Rebecca Willis claimed the town of Marshall violated her First Amendment rights by banning her from local dancehall the Marshall Depot. Town officials told Willis in December 2000 that she was banned from the hangout. A letter from the mayor cited "inappropriate behaviour" by Willis, as well as previous warnings. Unbelievable...
The 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld a district court ruling that said Willis' free-speech protections were not violated.
The panel said that Willis had been "dancing for her own enjoyment," which didn't rise to the level of dancing that's protected by the First Amendment. Willis' dancing "is not conduct which is sufficiently communicative to bring it within the protection of the First Amendment."
Most dancing performed for the benefit of an audience is protected, the court said, including ballet and striptease. Though of course the latter is routinely suppressed too.
The district court in Asheville will have to find out if the town received complaints about other dancers. "If you're going to accuse somebody of dirty dancing with somebody else, it's probably not a good idea to just charge one of them," Willis' lawyer, Jon Sasser, told the Asheville Citizen-Times. Sasser says he expects to show Willis was singled out. The town's lawyer, Larry Leake, said had not yet reviewed the decision on Oct. 7 but expected not to bow out now. "The town believes that her mode of dance was inappropriate and offensive to the folks who come to the depot."

A former stripper has been indicted on charges of fraud and larceny after allegedly setting up an illegal psychiatric practice near Boston.
Louise Wightman performed as an exotic dancer under the name 'Princess Cheyenne' during the 1970s. She apparently never held a doctoral degree in psychology recognized by the state, and never had a license to practice. Rather, her qualifications consisted of an online degree - cost $1,299 - from Republic of Dominica-based Concordia College and University.
From 1998, she had counselled children in her South Shore Psychology Associates practice. Her work concentrated on young girls with eating disorders, but she also offered marriage counselling.
After an undercover TV investigation of Wightman in February, the State Office of Consumer Affairs and Business Regulations began a probe that culminated in charges of six counts of filing false health care claims and insurance fraud, 26 counts of larceny over $250 and one count of practising without a license. No word is available on whether or not her counselling was helpful or not to those who received it, which surely ought to be the bottom line.

A line-up of strippers, exotic dancers, nightclub owners and academics in Columbus, Ohio gathered last week to explain the truth about the adult industry to state senators.
Angelina Spencer, a former stripper turned lawyer, said a bill proposing new restrictions on nude dance clubs and adult stores and theatres is based on myths and distortions about the $15 billion industry.
"Our single club created 250 jobs," Spencer told the Senate Judiciary Committee on Criminal Justice. "We were not prostitutes, we did not abuse drugs, and we had no Godfathers on our payroll . We ran a good business for 20 years as involved citizens of our community."
Daniel Linz, a University of California-Santa Barbara professor of law and society, produced research that also challenged common notions about adult establishments. He cited six separate university studies showing no relationship between the presence of an adult business in a neighbourhood and the incidence of crime. Ohio-specific studies he submitted also found no correlation between adult businesses and either sexual assaults or diminished property values.
Spencer accused lawmakers of catering to the religious right in a bill promoted by Citizens for Community Values. "This is militant extremism," she commented. "I would hope the people of Ohio could wake up to this before they get their rights impinged, too."
Among restrictions contained in the bill are a prohibition on nude or semi-nude dancing past 11pm, a requirement that entertainers be at least six feet from patrons and on a two-foot-high stage, and the outlawing of touching or placing a tip on a dancer.

A new pay claim by an Australian strippers' industry group could mean that an hour with a naked lapdancer could cost $5010 - effectively pricing it out of the reach of everyone.
The demand includes setting higher by-the-minute rates for strip performances and strict physical working conditions to alleviate occupational health and safety concerns, including minimum stage sizes of no less than 4sqm, or 2.5sqm for private dancing. Stages are to be disinfected daily and performers are not to use oils or non-water-soluble products on stage. Club owners say the claim could drive performers out of the industry or drive it further underground, rather than achieve more uniform regulation.
Strippers' union Striptease Artists Australia Incorporated has demanded $110 for a three-minute "skimpy" striptease - where nipples and genitalia remain concealed - while an artist performing a full striptease for a buck's or hen's night would earn $2010 for 20 minutes' work. A topless waitress would earn $1100 an hour under the claim, or close to $6000 for an average five-hour shift.
Eros Foundation spokeswoman Fiona Patten estimated 90 per cent of strippers would be put out of work if the claim succeeded. She said the Foundation had supported the union in the past, but the industry was already regulated by entertainment and hospitality awards that allowed for nude performance.
"A code of conduct and some sort of recognition is the way to go," she said. "We have seen similar things happen in the US, where they tried to introduce incredibly inflated awards and the agencies found ways around it and actually deregulated the industry."

The ongoing saga of nudity in Sutton continues. As we reported last month, local Conservative councillors have been mounting a dubious, hysterical and possibly corrupt campaign against plans for the town's first lap-dancing club. Now it seems that the local council will refuse a license.
However, the story is still far from over as leisure company Horne and Hall Associates has said it would consider an appeal.
In a report due before the council's development control committee on October 12, council planners have found the proposal unacceptable for a variety of fatuous and unconvincing reasons. Officers have recommended the plans for the site in St Nicholas Road should be rejected as the building is near to flats and would create too much noise and disturbance (hopefully there are no other pubs or clubs nearby then), because it would have an adverse affect on the "vitality and viability" of the town centre (huh?) and would lead to a "negative perception" of Sutton. Actually, moralising councils tend to lead to negative perceptions more than lap-dancing clubs, which Sutton councillors might care to note exist in every major city in the world without seeming to affect tourist numbers.
They also incorporated concerns from Sutton police, who objected to the club on the grounds it could further fuel violence-related incidents (again, there is NO evidence to support such claims) and because Sutton does not have the transport infrastructure including taxis to cope with another late night venue - a feeble excuse.
Horne and Hall director Chris Hall told the Sutton Guardian he was disappointed, but said the company would appeal if councillors decided to back the planners' decision.
"This is not a club per se, it's not for a bop and a swing and a groove (???). The dancers have to talk with the customers with just background music we're not going to be cranking it up to 100 decibels. We appreciate that there are problems in Sutton town centre but this will not magnify those problems at all."
Conservative councillors said they were celebrating a moral victory for "common sense". A statement read: "We feel our recent presence on Sutton High Street, where we surveyed almost 1,000 people who expressed a strong opinion against the proposal, was the reason the officers felt they had no choice but to reject it."
Of course, it is illegal to reject a club on moral grounds, so the Tories ought to watch their mouths.

After years of cock-teasing performances, semi-nude photo-shoots and blurry 'nipple slip' screen grabs on the internet, is Britney Spears finally going to show the slavering public what they've been waiting for?Well, probably not, but the news that a raunchy home movie allegedly exists has got the worlds tabloids foaming at the mouth.
The video, featuring Spears and new husband Kevin Federline was supposedly shot by a 'friend' while the 'singer' was pregnant (but not too pregnant...). Said 'friend' is reportedly threatening to release it.
Of course, call us cynical, but until the tape actually emerges, we'll look at this with some suspicion. Given that Spears has managed to send her career down the toilet and is now better known for her trailer trash lifestyle than her music, a well-timed suggestion like this will do her no harm in terms of upping her profile. Hell, give her another year and an actual porn movie might be the best move she can make.
Of course, these days, compliant judges will cheerfully stop celeb indiscretions from becoming public property. Earlier this year, actor Colin Farrell took legal action to successfully block a release of a tape he made with Playboy playmate Nicole Narain, while a British judge banned the broadcast of a video showing two beneficiaries of nepotism - Elizabeth Jagger and Calum Best - engaging in 'sexual activities' in a London nightclub in March this year. The couple were captured on a closed-circuit television camera they failed to notice. Would the footage have been blocked is it was of a couple of non-'celebs'? I think we all know the answer to that...

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Burlesque queen and soon to be Mrs Mariltn Manson Dita Von Teese has been making the news lately. Firstly, she made a dazzling - though not as dazzling as fans had hoped - appearance at the opening of Ireland's first harvey Nichols store lastr week. She performed in the window of the store, but showed less of her talents than planned after the local gardai in Dundrum, south of Dublin, warned the luxury department store that it risked prosecution if it showcased "indecent behaviour" and that allowing strippers to perform could result in them losing their licence, as von Teese's antics would be offensive to members of the public. Dullards. Dita obligingly kept some of her clothes on for the ensuing show, which took place on her 33rd birthday. You can enjoy more photos like the ones above at http://www.showbizireland.com/news/september05/29-vonteese01.shtml
Dita also revealed to Grazia magazine that she keeps fit by swimming naked at midnight (to avoid suntans). She will have a tiny 16-inch waist at the couple's wedding next month, pulled in by a tight corset by Mr Pearl, which she will wear under her Vivienne Westwood dress. Manson will wear his trademark white contact lenses.
She told the magazine: "I can't wait. I believe I've captured the heart of one of the last ever dandies. I couldn't be more happy. We just can't wait to see the photos!"

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The popular punk pinup site Suicide Girls is sadly giving in to pressure to change its content - before the pressure has even been applied.
In light of the FBI's new anti-pornography campaign, the site has decided to remove certain images from its files.
In a statement, Missy Suicide said "while we do not believe any of our images are illegal, SG has removed a number of images in order to ensure that we are not targeted by the U.S. Government's new 'War on Porn.' We have received no formal government notice to remove these images, however, in the course of our involvement, as witnesses ,in a federal criminal prosecution that does not target SG, we have been made aware of the risks posting such content poses the owners of the company.
"Given the U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' new war on porn task force and it's intent to bring obscenity charges against their loosely defined 'Deviant' imagery, we have removed any images with fake blood and any images we felt could be wrongfully construed as sadist or masochist.
" Given the natural disasters in Louisiana and Texas, the U.S. Government's numerous foreign war's and the growing U.S. deficit, we feel there are far better uses of government resources then pursuing thelegality of imagery created by consenting adults, but as is usually the case, our opinions are not shared by the Current U.S. Administration.
" Also, we really miss Bill Clinton."
While we sympathise with their decision, we are saddened that the site has so readily crumbled while others remain defiant. Given the high-profile, mainstream appeal and relatively tame nature of Suicide Girls (let's not be fooled - any fake blood and bondage was at the mild end of the scale), it seems unlikely that the FBI would risk discrediting their campaign by going after them - more likely they'll be targeting small-scale bondage producers who won't be able to mount an effective defence.

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A city centre lapdancing club is to open in Nottingham after the local police failed to notice the application.
The police had previously quashed plans for Bar Humbug to become a lapdancing venue on two occasions, citing entirely fictional and trumped up objections on the grounds of increased crime and anti-social behaviour in and around Friar Lane. Non-locals may care to note that Friar lane already has a Walkabout Bar and several other pubs with late licenses, is rammed with bus stops and is only a spit away from the main square - so the suggestion that a members club in an off-road location would increase levels of oafishness is clearly ridiculous.
The application to alter Bar Humbug's public entertainment licence was included in their response to the new Liquor Licensing Act. It was submitted the day after their second application was refused under the old licensing legislation.
"We realise we made a mistake, but are disappointed that we did not get the chance to put it right." commented a spokesman. "We have concerns about the proposed venue and will be keeping a very close eye on it. If it appears to be failing to comply with its licence, we will look to revoke it."
Let's hope their bitterness doesn't - as they seem to imply in that statement - cause them to unfairly harass the venue.
Ian Walker, owner of Bar Humbug, said: "We all make mistakes, don't we? It just shows that none of us are perfect. The police think we will attract people who go binge-drinking, but we would totally price out binge drinkers."
Walker plans to turn Bar Humbug into a club for over 21s only. It will have up to 30 dancers on two floors and would appeal to stag parties and businessmen.
A council spokeswoman said: "The licensing committee believed it was unfair on the applicants for police to speak on this matter at such a late stage. As long as they obey the conditions of their licence, the venue can continue trading indefinitely as a lap dancing bar."
Quite a turnaround from a council who until recently were fighting a battle to keep the sex industry out of Nottingham entirely.
DK Consultants based in Friary Chambers was the snotty business to object to the plans. Amy Soulsby-Kent, a director for the recruitment consultants, said the firm would be exercising its right to appeal against the decision.
She said: "We have worked hard to build up a professional reputation for our business and this sort of venue is likely to bring more crime and disorder into a city already known for its high crime rate." As ever, we ask to see her evidence for this claim. Did she object to the plethora of bars opening around her business? Don't they breed criminal and anti-social behaviour?
She continued "We have a wide mix of clients some of whom may feel intimidated by customers passing through to a lap dancing club." Yeah, because you'll never find a businessman in a lapdancing venue, will you?